I drove my dad's car straight into a telegraph pole on either my second or third driving lesson. He was the more patient of my two parents - but that didn't save me from copping an earful.

The earful didn't help in the end, I had driving lessons from a guy who was obviously born patient. Not long after getting my P plates, I was rear-ended by a woman who assured me that the accident was my fault. Lucky the police officer who attended the accident stood up for me. Someone had to. I was a weeping mess. The car was newish and my parents, not wanting to risk their own cars, thought it was a better bet to have me drive my own.

New research published in the journal of Accident Analysis & Prevention from the University of NSW's Rebecca Ivers and team reveals that young drivers who own a car - or who have been given a car - are 30 per cent more likely to crash in their first year on the road compared to those who share the family car. And worse, the increased crash rate is sustained for seven years into early adulthood.

And which group of teens are more likely to have their own cars? Yep, rural and regional young drivers who need cars to get around. When you live hours away from school or TAFE or work, it makes sense to be able to have your own transport. But it turns out it's very risky.

What explains the findings? Ivers says low parental monitoring and poor driving habit development may explain the findings. You don't have the front seat driver reminding you to put two hands on the wheel, to check blind spots and, for God's sake, to slow down. You don't have someone hectoring you as you leave the house: take care! Drive carefully! Also, do not go too far. No road trips!

Those driving their own cars are 15 times likelier to die or to be hospitalised in that first six months of having a licence, double after 12 months and a 50 per cent increase in risk at three years. Terrifying figures. Sure, the number of serious crashes is only small - but one in your own family would be more than you could cope with.

My own memory of lending the ancient Tarago to our three children was this: a list of questions, followed by a list of instructions before they set out. Where are you going? Who are you going with? When are you leaving? When are you getting back?

Don't forget to indicate. Check the blind spot. Just remember that speeding fines arrive addressed to me so I'll know exactly what you've done and when.

One kid asked me once if I'd take the responsibility if a traffic fine arrived in the mail. Abso-bloody-lutely not. At that stage, I had a perfect driving record and wasn't planning to sully it with the crimes and misdemeanours of my children. Turns out a school mate's mum had taken the hit for the drimes, the driving crimes, of her kid. Not my jam. You do the crime, you pay the fine. And while it's true that in the meantime I ended up in a badly sign posted bus lane, that's pretty much been it for my driving record. That and a dozen parking tickets because I tend to think I can do more in 60 minutes than is really possible or realistic.

The key thing about this research is to let us know the risks about car ownership too young. But it's also to let us know that we have to talk to our kids about driving skills, about taking care on the road and why it's a risk to have too many competing noises and distractions. ALSO, did I mention definitely no road trips in that first year.

I'm sure the research equivalent of all this is: high parental monitoring and careful driving habit development. I think I prefer, nagging works.

HAVE YOUR SAY: Did you have your own car as soon as you got your licence? What about your kids? What rules do you have about using the family car? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au

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Brian tells us that last December he returned to his homeland. "Part of my trip around Ireland included a visit to Lisdoonvarna, the 'Matchmaking capital of Europe'." While travelling, he sent this message to family and friends: "Well, 165 years ago, Lisdoonvarna began to offer an alternative path to wedded bliss. So it is that each September Lisdoonvarna's population of less than 1000 will swell to more than 60,000 romantic hopefuls. They assemble for Europe's largest matchmaking event. Real time human interface replaces digital sleight of hand."

Trevor writes: "I have been extraordinarily lucky. 58 years ago, I was told that my new laboratory assistant was here. I turned around, looked at her, and 58 years later, with two wonderful grown daughters and grandkids, we're still very happily together. Lightning CAN strike."

Lee says love at first sight is usually lust. "Hubby and I have been married for 36 years. Engaged after four weeks going out and married eight months later. Four of our children got married in three years starting in 2021. Two couples met online and two met at work. The two couples that met online didn't move in the same circles, so would never have met the old-fashioned way. Maybe, it's horses for courses ... but I would prefer the old way."

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